My Pet Peeve

Okay, it's no surprise that well meaning people say stupid and even hurtful things. Also, hurtful people can say stupid things and stupid people can say hurtful things. Am I right? Let's focus on the well meaning people though. :) I came across this fantastic post from an incredible adoptive father:
http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/how-much-did-your-kid-cost.html
He has a list of stupid and hurtful things that well meaning (?) people say.

I'm going to address my number one pet peeve. I've been dealing with this for 8 months and every time someone says it it grates my nerves even more.
4. Don't say things like, "as soon as you adopt you're going to get pregnant" when you find out somebody is adopting. First of all, there are usually many, many years of pain and financial burden strapped to infertility, treatments, and heartache. Do you really think that what you're saying will help them? Secondly, while it is funny when it happens, it's rare.

Everyone I know has said that me in the past 8 months. I'm not sure what the fascination is with that comment! Just because apparently everyone seems to know someone who that happened to and it strikes you as amusing, it's actually really rare. Let me tell you, it's also a very hurtful thing to say. First, I'll adress the "Don't worry..." that usally comes before the comment. Don't worry? As if I was worried? As if right now I'm getting second prize but 'don't worry' someday I'll get first prize? Do you see how that is hurtful? This child that will soon come in to my life is beyond 1st prize! I feel like I'm hitting the lottery and I feel like God is giving me such an incredible and precious gift. I'm honored that God chose me to receive a child from Ethiopia. One of His most precious creations. All for me. I'm the winner! Please don't call my child second best.
Next, it's also quite hurtful that you would assume I wanted to get pregnant first (whether I wanted to or not). Unless you're my BFF or family member, you should really leave that where it belongs: between my husband and I.
Third, maybe I WON'T get pregnat after I adopt. Maybe it's physically impossible for me (and I speak for all adopting women). Maybe we've had years of infertility and pain. Maybe we've spent way too many tears greiving the loss of a potential pregnancy. Maybe we aren't even over it and picture the absolute stabbing we must feel as you rub it in and jab our hearts furthur. Ouch.

My husband and I feel that God has chosen to build our family first through adoption. We don't know what the future will hold. We don't know if we will have children biologically or have a really great rainbow colored family :) We don't know... and frankly don't care! This adoption is one of the best things to happen to us and we can not wait until the day we meet our little peanut in Africa.

Please, for myself and all of my fellow adoptive mommies, STOP saying that hurtful sentence! You don't know the pain you might be causing.

10 Year Change

Ethiopian Fiscal Year Total Adoptions


1999: 42
2000: 95
2001: 165
2002: 105
2003: 165
2004: 284
2005: 442
2006: 731
2007: 1254
2008: 1724
2009: 2277

The Children

Do you hear the children singing?
I can hear them high above,
Singing, springing, ringing, bringing
Glory to the God of love.

Glory for the gift of living,
Glory for the end of pain,
Glory for the gift of giving,
Glory for eternal gain.

Glory from the ones forsaken,
Glory from the lost and lone,
Glory when the infants waken,
Orphans on the Father's throne

Do you hear the children singing?
I can hear them high above,
Singing, springing, ringing, bringing
Glory to the God of love.

Do you see the children waiting?
I can see them all aglow
Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting,
Who of us will rise and go?

Will we turn and fly to meet them
In the light of candle two?
I intend to rise and greet them.
Come and go with me, would you?

-John Harper
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/poems/the-children

Sudanese Referedum: Update

As I said in my last post, our good friends Seth and Sarah are living and serving in South Sudan. Here is Seth's well-written take on the current referendum:
http://cornerstonefriends.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-perspective-on-referendum.html

Prayers for Sudan

   

Join us this week in praying for Sudan. A vote started yesterday and will last all week. The vote is to separate the South from the North. Gaining independence from the North will be really great for the South. However, the North has threatened civil war. Our good friends are in South Sudan and they are already preparing for war. Pray hard!

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-fg-sudan-election-20110110,0,800348.story

Why you should jump on Team Clooney

Here's where you can learn all about our selfless, wonderful friends

Pray hard!